In This Episode:
Welcome to Episode 104 of Dyslexia Devoted and today we’re talking about struggles with lack of routines and structure for kids with learning differences.
Shownotes: parnelloeducation.com/episode104
This Episode's Topics:
- Anxiety without routine
- Executive functioning
- Predictable fun in summer
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Connect with Lisa Parnello:
Speaker 1
00:04
Hello and welcome to Dyslexia Devoted, the podcast dedicated to building awareness, understanding, and strategies to help those with dyslexia. I'm your host, Lisa Parnello, dyslexia therapist and founder of Parnello Education Services. Join me as we dive into today's episode of Dyslexia Devoted. Hello and welcome back to another episode of Dyslexia Devoted, or possibly your very first episode.
Speaker 1
00:28
Episode 104 is all about the importance of structures and routines. Something I have none of this week, whatsoever. As always, I'm taking my inspiration from the world around me because when you guys don't put in a request for an episode, you get whatever's on my mind. This week, it is the lack of structure and routine and never knowing where I will be tomorrow until 5pm the day before.
Speaker 1
00:52
Which is driving me nuts. I am on call for jury duty, and we all know how much many people dread it. I don't dread it so much for the fact of being on the jury. I dread it more on the fact that A, it means I have 0 income because I'm a small business owner and don't make any money if I don't go to work.
Speaker 1
01:11
And B, that I have no idea what tomorrow will be. So every time I see the kids this week I have to say I might see you tomorrow, I might not. Or I might see you on Wednesday when I usually do, or I might not. 1 of the kids this week actually told me I don't like that.
Speaker 1
01:28
I like my routine. I like that I know I always see you on Wednesdays in the summertime." And this child was actively bothered by the fact that we were going to mess with his routine, that he knows where he's supposed to be on certain days and this is 1 of the places he's supposed to be and likes to be. And being able to say, I have no idea if I will see you on Wednesday. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1
01:48
It's not really something that flies with an eight-year-old so let's talk about structure and routine because it is something that so many kids rely on and a lot of adults think is boring and So there ends up being this conflict of sometimes the kids going, well, what comes next? Well, what comes next? Well, what do we do after that? And then what do we do right before I leave?
Speaker 1
02:09
But because I use the same routine and the same structure forever and ever with them, we just change the skills we're working on. So we'll work on our sounds and we'll work on words and we'll work on reading and then we'll work on spelling and then we'll end with a story and that kind of thing. There ends up being a very strong routine we always do, but what I'm teaching changes. So the overall layout of my lesson every single time is always the same for the kids.
Speaker 1
02:32
And each kid has their own different structure, so it's not necessarily every child has the same layout because 1 kid, it might be 20 minutes of typing, 20 minutes of writing, 20 minutes of reading comprehension, and another child, it might be, you know, 20 minutes of fraction work and 35 minutes of spelling. It just kind of depends on, you know, what that child's plan is and where their skill weaknesses are. But whatever that routine is, I keep it the same for that child, unless there's something that ends up changing our plan that we need to start working on things differently or add something in or take something out, but that way I want them to always know the flow of our sessions because that routine really calms them down. When they know what to anticipate and they know what's coming next, they're less anxious.
Speaker 1
03:15
Kids often have a lot more anxiety than adults give them credit for, and the not knowing what comes next is really a big 1. So if you can have a general routine of we always do it this 1 way, there's a lot less stress involved. And the kids know what's happening next, and then their energy levels are a lot calmer and calmer children are happier children and happier children leave happier adults. It's a chain reaction and we have to make sure that we can control some of those triggers that make that chain reaction turn into like a fireworks explosion.
Speaker 1
03:47
We want it to be a peaceful day for all of us. So if we can have a semblance of routine, they are calmer, they actively participate in whatever it is you want them to do better because they know what it looks like and when it will end and how it goes. It's the constant not knowing that they don't know how to respond when they don't know what's gonna come next. And I often see it in this period of summertime where kids are just getting started with me, they want to go, what goes next?
Speaker 1
04:15
And then what do we do? And then what do we do? And then when do I go home? How much time is there left?
Speaker 1
04:20
And then after a couple sessions once they figure out what their routine with me is, then they know what to expect. They know what comes next and they're not so anxious anymore. And when they're in that calmer state, that's when the true learning gets done, when they know what to expect. So when I had a classroom, there was always a schedule on the board.
Speaker 1
04:38
Always always, for my entire teaching career. Just by showing them where we are. And I would actually physically move like a star or an arrow or a pointer finger, whatever I was using that year, down the schedule, and so the kids could see where we were at. And I teach them how to tell time, on a real clock with hands, because you would not believe how many children come into my office and say, "'But I can't read the clock.'" Well, you're gonna learn then, because I do not have digital clocks in my office.
Speaker 1
05:04
Okay, well I do have my phone, but I don't tell them that. They know it and every once in a while you'll get a sneaky kid that'll touch my phone to see what time it is. But I try to get the kids to be able to read analog clocks and know we are done when it's 5 minutes till the hour because I do 55 minute sessions. Now another key reason for this routine and structure is executive functioning.
Speaker 1
05:26
A lot of times kids with dyslexia and other learning differences have no executive functioning. That ability to plan and time manage and do things in a predictable way does not actually come naturally for them. So if we can teach them how to do routines and structures, it makes life a lot easier. And what I try to teach them is if we do it in the same way every time, the odds of us forgetting to do something are much smaller.
Speaker 1
05:50
When you practice your vowel sounds and you change up the order all the time for the sounds of the letter E, sometimes you start with the long vowel, sometimes you start with the short vowel, the odds of forgetting 1 of them are much higher compared to if you always do it in the same order. So I will change the order of which letters I'm teaching. Like first we'll start with an A and then the next day we'll start with O and the next day we'll start with I. So we will change up the order, but within that, the different sounds of those letters, I try to keep them in the same order so they don't forget, what's the third sound that Y can say?
Speaker 1
06:19
So if you can teach the kids the structures and routines and get them to do things in the same order, it really helps with their executive functioning to be able to learn strategies for planning if it doesn't come naturally. It's the whiteboard calendar I have on my wall every day that the kids always look at. It's really there for me. But part of the reason I keep using it there in such a public place for my own personal calendar on the wall is to teach the kids that I plan, that there is a plan, that there is some color coding to make a strategy.
Speaker 1
06:49
There is a way for me to know when my payday is and I can know when to structure my money around that. And to know that there is a thought process that happens. So many things we do as adults, we just do them, but we don't necessarily explain to kids why we do them. And so that's where creating structures and routines and planning and modeling how we plan things is something that helps the kids be in a less anxious place and helps them learn really valuable life lessons on how do they handle unpredictable situations.
Speaker 1
07:19
And this week has all been about unpredictable situations. At you know, 445, refreshing every 5 minutes as it heads closer to 5 o'clock, trying to figure out what will my day tomorrow look like has been really stressful for me and really stressful for the kids. Every day not knowing what the next day will hold has been really challenging for the kids too. Like they don't know whether they're going to see me tomorrow and that's not the way they're used to me being.
Speaker 1
07:46
They know when they come to Ms. Parnello's office or Ms. Lisa's office, depending on where that child met me. If they met me at school, it's probably Ms.
Speaker 1
07:53
Parnello, if they met me where I used to work, or if they met me here, they probably call me Lisa. And they know that I'm very predictable with them. I have a pretty clear expectation of what their behavior should be. I have a pretty clear way of explaining to them when they will and will not see me, like if I'm gonna take a vacation or they have a school break coming up.
Speaker 1
08:13
We are very clear about what to expect and when I will see them next or a reason why I won't see them. So this I might see tomorrow, I might not is not really going over very well with them. They are not very happy children this week, but there's not much else I can do. They're a little confused.
Speaker 1
08:30
And then you also have to explain to kids why you have to go to a court and see a judge when you're not in trouble. That has also been a really funny thing this week of explaining to them in layman's terms how 12 grownups who are not in trouble go and vote if somebody made a bad choice or not is how I'm choosing to explain it to six-year-olds. But overall this week, it has really put a highlight on how much the kids crave structure and predictability and routine. And the more we can give them that, the calmer they are and the better behaved they are because they know what to anticipate.
Speaker 1
09:06
Anxiety makes you do all sorts of weird crazy things and makes you have all these thoughts in your head a million times over. I can't even tell you the number of thoughts I've had in my brain going, okay so if I get called in then who do I have to call? What do I have to tell them? How do I know when I'm gonna be back seeing their child again, I don't really know.
Speaker 1
09:22
I'm gonna have to tell them I don't know when I will see them next, and that I'll just have to email them, and that I will just keep texting them. And there's also, in the county I'm in, sometimes they call you at lunchtime. So sometimes I don't know till 11 a.m. If I have to be there that afternoon.
Speaker 1
09:38
The last time I got called in for jury duty, I didn't know till 11 a.m. Where I had to be that day. And that was really hard because I had to leave in the middle of my workday and have to dart all the way across town. And if you've ever driven in Bay Area traffic, it is not easy to get all the way across town on an hour's notice.
Speaker 1
09:55
So this week I'm having to let go of all of my craved routine and structure that I enjoy so very much, I don't always have to do exactly what the plan is, but I have to know what the plan is. And this lack of knowing the plan is killing me right now. So as we are entering these early weeks of summer, I encourage you to make a plan and some semblance of a routine for kids. And it doesn't have to be a routine in the sense of like, you have to do work all day, but just, hey, when we first wake up, we do this.
Speaker 1
10:26
And then we do 10 minutes of reading time. And then you go, you can watch some cartoons for a while, and then you play outside, and then we have lunch where it might just be fun things that are in your routine, but let there be a routine. Let there be some semblance of predictability, even if it's predictable fun. So Routine and predictability don't necessarily always have to mean work.
Speaker 1
10:49
They can sometimes mean fun. So there is 1 place I go every Friday night where I know I can show up there and there will guaranteed be some friends that I know that will be there, and that's my routine for Friday evening up in the mountains. It is a fun routine. It's not necessarily a routine in a bad kind of way.
Speaker 1
11:06
It is a predictable time to know that there will be a happy moment in my day. I especially like having that Friday routine after something not so pleasant. So since I often don't tend to work Fridays, since I work such really long days, Monday through Thursday, there is an exception for summer, I am working a couple hours on Fridays, but I do something rather unpleasant like yard work right before my Friday fun routine. Because then there is a reward at the end of the thing that I don't really want to do and it gives me the motivation to finish doing the thing I don't want to do because there's something fun to look forward to afterward.
Speaker 1
11:42
So help kids create routines, even if they're fun routines, because summertime can be crazy. So if you can put some structure into it, it makes everybody a little bit better behaved in the world of kids. If they know what to anticipate and especially if they're anticipating something amazingly fun. All right, that's it for today.
Speaker 1
12:00
I will hopefully see you next week. The thought of jury duty is throwing things for a wrench this week So there's a chance I might have to be doing a bunch of tutoring work or makeup sessions in other weird hours So we shall see I will hopefully see you very soon. Have a great day Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. If you want to learn even more about dyslexia, check out parnelloeducation.com forward slash courses.
Speaker 1
12:29
See you next time.